:: PRBL Special Episode #5 - #56B - "Blue-Light Special" ::

: Previous: Black-and-Blue Friday : Main : Next: Cassiopeia's Revenge - Extended/Remixed Edition :

#56B - "Blue-Light Special" (Originally Written In: 2011)

[ Backstage Drama | No More Drama ]

~*~

Devon looked down at his shoes. "Well, you've finally fallen apart. Guess it's time to get some new ones." His phone rang. "Hello?"

-"Dude, it's Trevor. I need to get some film for my camera! I've got exactly the right light I need to get some GREAT shots!"-

"Why don't we go to that new Kmart that just opened? I need some new shoes."

-"Shall we bring Karone?"-

"Well, she DOES have the biggest car. I'll call her. Meet you there in 30!"

~*~

Trevor pulled up to the front of the store on his bicycle, and chained it to the rack. Karone and Devon pulled up in her car. Trevor finished chaining his bike up and walked over to them. "Nice wheels!"

"Thanks! I, apparently, just got them not too long ago! Dig the matching blue console to the exterior..."

"Ooh... Come on, let's go in."

The three walked into the store, and were greeted by an older gentleman. "Welcome to Kmart, kiddoes! Would you like a lolly?"

"No thanks," Devon and Karone replied, in unison.

"Do you have lemon?" Trevor asked. "I love yellow!"

"Hold on, sonny. Let me check my bag here..." The old man turned his attention toward finding Trevor a yellow sucker. "Blue... Green... Red..."

"Looks like you're going to be here for a while," Devon said. "Let's split up and meet at the Snack Bar in an hour. Maybe you'll be into the store by then." He and Karone walked in opposite directions.

"Purple... Turquoise... Chartreuse..."

"Chartreuse? Seriously?!"

"Aw, you made me lose my place! I have to start all over! Blue... Green... Red..."

Trevor shook his head.

~*~

Karone made her way to the perfume section, where a rather peppy young woman was waiting with a bottle of a fragrance called 'Oh, My Toilet'. "Hi-i! Would you like to sample my lovely new fragrance? Of course you would! Here, have a spritz!" She sprayed Karone right in the face with it. "What'cha think? Doesn't it smell FABULOUS?"

She gagged. "I could think of a dozen things that it smells like, and fabulous isn't one of them." She waved her hand in front of her face, trying to clear away the stink. "What's in that stuff?"

"It's, like, totally a-hundred percent all natural ingredients! There's a little bit of this, a little bit of that... Y'know, perfume-y things! So, how many cases can I put you down for?"

"Cases?" Karone was still coughing. "What makes you think I'd want one bottle of that stuff, let alone one case?"

"One case it is!" She handed Karone a box of six oversized bottles. "Would you like a cart?"

"I don't even want this!"

"Oh, you'd rather have the smaller bottles? Those cost WAY more than these! Trust me, you're better off with the value size!"

"Fine... Get me a cart..."

She ran over to the phone and dialed up the intercom. "Walter! Cart needed in perfume! Walter!"

~*~

"Oh, that's me! I've got to go, sonny! Thank you for shopping at Kmart!"

"But... I haven't even walked IN the store yet! All I want is some film for a camera!"

"Film, you say? Why, back in my day, we used flash powder, and our cameras had little birds inside that would chisel away the picture with their beaks, and..."

"I'll take the cart. Perfume department, huh?" He grabbed the cart and ran off. "Thank you!"

"...and, whenever I'd walk in, that dog would jump right on me, knocking me down and licking my face. I'd say, 'Dino, get down!'..."

~*~

Devon made his way to the shoe department. He saw a pair of high-tops that looked exactly like the ones that he'd worn out. "Hm, 'buy one, get one half-off.' I can get TWO of them!"

"Excuse me," a salesperson said, approaching him. "I see you saw our sign."

"Yes, and I'm thrilled! Two pairs of my favorite high-tops, and it'll only cost me $45!"

The salesperson laughed. "Oh, that's rich!"

"What is?"

"You think that sign means two PAIRS of shoes. No, my friend, that's for EACH SHOE."

"Who would only buy ONE shoe?"

"Amputees... Mutants... Aliens... You'd be amazed at the number of people that come in here only wanting one shoe, or an odd number of shoes, like three or five."

"But... I just want a new pair of shoes. I don't want to pay $45 to get ONE pair of shoes."

"Well, the clearance section is in the back. Maybe you can find something that's more to your liking over there."

"You know what? I... Fine, I'll pay for two separate shoes. Do you have two in a size 10?"

"We might, but you'll have to look for yourself. It's my break time." With that, the salesperson walked away.

"Rude much?" Devon set out to find two shoes in his size. He managed to find them, and he put them in his cart and made his way toward the checkout.

~*~

Karone and Trevor were in line with her case of perfume and his film, when Devon came up with his shoes. "Can you believe that this place charges you BY THE SHOE?"

"Totally," Karone replied. "You know, there are some three-legged species out there that don't need shoes in pairs."

Devon rolled his eyes. "Whatever. I can't wait to get out of here, just so I never have to come back."

The trio made their way to the register, and were about to pay... When the lights went out.

-"Attention, Kmart Shoppers! Due to a power outage, we are unable to ring any purchases through the front lanes. Please stand by. Power should be restored shortly."-

"Well, that's just great. Now, I'm stuck here, and I can't even pay for my overpriced shoes!"

"Hey, Karone?" Trevor asked. "Wanna play Monopoly to pass the time? I have the travel edition!"

She smiled. "Set it up!"

"Really, you guys? TRAVEL Monopoly?"

"You act like you never prepare to be trapped in a department store during a power outage," Trevor said.

"I... AUGH!" Devon started to beat his head against the front window.

~*~

THE END!

~*~

Happy Holidays!